Shawshank

There are some long nights in a man's life.
Today is one for me.
I watched The Shawshank Redemption.

Good that I stayed long.

I love the air gushing onto my face while gazing out from the train, standing at the door.

It was for this elevating feeling and a two-three days stay with my extended family that I headed for Ernakulam, monday last. I also had an engagement function of a dear cousin to miss by a few hours, thanks to the exam I had on that same day. I had very few thoughts else and very few questions. Having had faced the good half of my semester exams with heady mixes of tea and eleventh hour Photostats, I needed a small reminder of places and people elsewhere. That was all I wanted of it.

But during my stay that got elongated to fill full seven days, I undertook a few journeys of the kind that re-kindle in you questions about one’s roots. Which place do you call ‘Home’? Which place do you yearn to go back to? Who were the deities of your forbears? And where do those stone idols now rest, having been transposed with all customary honours and rituals?

In a temple called ‘Aameda’, named for its tortoise (aama) deity, not one but many idols of serpent gods and goddesses rest. In Kerala, serpents were worshipped and they are part of lore. Though my knowledge of these kinds of tales is limited, I have faint remembrances of a king being bitten to death by a serpent despite of the precautions he had had taken. Aameda is famous nowadays because it has become the resting place of serpent deities from many ancestral houses of central Kerala. The temple has received them deities because the respective places were chosen as building sites of the new age.

With their transposition ‘a few things were forgotten that never should have been’.

Among those God-heads some were from my peoples lands. The serpent was worshipped to ward off disease and evil. And when I visited Aameda, I had that one prayer.

In another place named Engandiyoor, quite near to Guruvayoor, the native land of one of my uncles’ I had the opportunity to see a still un-transposed ‘sarpa-kaavu’. Mine was a journey of discovery, indeed. I have seen such places elsewhere. In Karikkam temple, there is a huge sarpa-kaavu. The snake-idols are usually ensconced inside the canopy of forests where temperatures fall a tad below ambient. In regions infested with deadly and dangerous snakes, snake-worship is said to ward off fatal snake-bites. I do not know of any science behind this. But the wise man who was in charge of the latter place I mentioned stood testament for this anecdote. No doubt India has a wide array of exotic and poisonous snakes. But I have heard that Australia hosts the most poisonous of serpents. Is there snake-worship in Australia???

My journey also helped me re-acquaint with the geographies of two renowned temples – Guruvayoor and Tripunithura. My usual visits to Ernakulam are too short to permit such pious escapades. But this time was different.

I also gazed at a half-completed two storey dream. And taking cue decided a few things and kept them unto myself.

Another difficult lunch!

I had to set out for Kottayam, last Sunday on an errand. More a token of commitment than an errand. An old friend was getting his sister married off. There were around fifty people in my class of yore. Five of us turned up for the engagement. That is one in ten , hmm, I am not satisfied.

But five we were and our rural exploit of Kottayam was memorable and would be for life-long. The local bus from Kottayam to uzhavoor wound through seemingly never ending roads taking us into the heart of rural Kottayam. The same feeling you would have in any other part of rural Kerala, a welcome feeling, soon engulfed me. Achu got the cue too and he noted the same to me. Travel brings a pleasure that can be brought by naught else.

In ways more than one my engineering education has begun to turn out to be a time of travel and tour. In the past year and a half I have had opportunity to see rural places in five districts. Palode(Trivandrum), Soochipara and edakkal (Wayanad), Chemberi (Kannur), Mararikulam (Allepy) and Aswin's place (Kozhikode).

Post the function I messaged my sister -

"Yet another difficult christian lunch. I still remain a vegetarian, non-alcoholic" !

So much for what I hold true !!!!


And look who is God's right hand.

Banglored, Backstabbed and Back!

Last week was fun, as I was all over Bangalore. Under the aegis of my cousin t3rmin4t0r who is working at Yahoo, Bangalore, I rejoiced a laid back vacation. And there was of course Vaisakh, who took my Scary House ticket. The biggest place I have seen yet, Banglore (Hmm, is it?)- impressed in form, grandeur and spirit (Hmm, did it?).

I took two full weeks to read 'the Sicilian'. Sicily is treacherous, with backstabbers and bandits, rogues and usurpers, people on the two extremes of love et al. Sicily in hindsight, resembles my circumstances. I am doing third year at CET, if you need reminding. This place is equally deep with self-centered people and treacherous cheaters, money-swindlers et al but/and also thick acquaintances. Backstabbers, deceptive deceivers and loose-mouthers. I am not exaggerating. It is a place to learn strategy, to sit and watch and learn and so on. I have had a few lessons. I am not saying that I invited everyone when I adventured, I did'nt. Not that my small group packed bags for places while announcing our plans in inviting tones. We fuuking did'nt. Its dog eat dog and I ate some and got eaten as well. But at the end of the day, I realize the sicilian saying, "only the man who plays alone, wins".

I am back from the out3rorbiT! Obviously it did'nt go well.

out3rorbiT - the brief!

Welcome to the out3rorbiT. And I live here.

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Yes, I agree this is a strange place and herein is a strange man.

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When I look back in life, I see pain and when I relax I have painful memories. Perhaps not because my life was full of pain, but maybe because I recieved the pain to my heart and I gave only fleeting attention to the few good things that churned out in between. Its not about attitude, I will tell you. Not about the gutts. For my gutts,I will tell you, people will kill for it !

When I look back at relationships my eyes fill with tears. Not because they didnt give me fruit, nor because the fruit was sour. But just because I can't bear the weight any longer. I do not want to elucidate, I can't.

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Vishnu had a few good habits and a few good traits. Some passions, some touchstones and a few dreams. The habits were fine, the passions too. But they stopped clicking dreams. They did.

So I made a place called the out3rorbiT, and this place comes along with me. It is more like me taking the orbiT along as if it is a bag. I chose the out3rorbiT, because the planet farthest away from the sun travels the slowest.

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This is a place to lie in waiting. The place to hide, not so much as to bury oneself beneath the irrevocable mist of time. But just the place for a delay loop to come a full loop. I will bail out from here. I do not know when, but it will happen some day.

Awhile I will have time to read and write for myself, to understand the computer, to define a few muscles, to concentrate on logic, to unravel my Gods and listen ignorantly to music. Leave me alone as I do all this, please do. For I wont reciprocate to you if you will care to care.

This place is one without insecurities. You would feel as odd as you would in a planet with lesser gravity.

This place is one without responsibilities. You would feel like you are in a planet that does not care about its moon.

This place is called the out3rorbiT. And I live here.


th3margi

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Apr 1 , 2007

4:00pm.

Ubuntu - :-)

"A person with ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed."


Archbishop Desmond Tutu

CULT SONG VIDEO

I wanted to participate in English Extempore but then Wayanad happened!

I love the cool breeze brushing my face while standing on the edge of the train bogey, staring at the fast moving expanses of green fields and sturdy palms. I love to be alone and talking to myself. It is perhaps the best time to think about oneself and also to forget about oneself; and both at the same time! I have always been warned about standing thus, but I have loved to see my shadow dance along at the train's pace, despite the landscape; flitting by the train and jumping at every odd stone.

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After Ragam, Eric asked me 'was the promise kept?'.

Yes it was fucking kept fuckingly!

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When I was in s4, I was disillusioned about Ragam and CET. I had castles in the air and an air of cheer. I had thrown an ace hoping that the nine was amiss, but bingo! came down the nine and drowned my ace.

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I saw a few TV slow shots and found that the most venomous of snakes arch backwards to take aim before lurching to bite. And I learned somewhere along the way that the fighter might crouch before the pounce.

I can say that I wrote whatever I did write with a sense of purpose and with audacity wherever it needed to be. And I read with an open mind and acuity. I went along with a bubbly spirit and met with dire death a coupla times but remained stone facedly stoical. I found in people the will to do and aided them doing. I sapped from them without compromise. But like the snake and the fighter when did I take the breather that ain't a breather! Okay I take it now!

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Wayanad is the most beautiful place in Kerala. And that is where it all distilled over.

There were tea estates and scenic backdrops on the way....

A rock and a few rock climbers....

A cave and a few old paintings and writings...

A waterfall and a few jobless people.

We all posed for photos, wondered at what we saw and imagined being heroes.

The rock climbing at Edakkal taught me the value of perseverance.
The cave writings humbled me.
And Soochipara mesmerized!

Thanks Pranav for helping us in not being killed by Eric.
Thanks Ajay Chettan for the camera gimmicks.
Thanks Amar for the one-liners.
Thanks Aravind and Vineeth for the safe driving.
Thanks Pattar for the foiled drama.
And Thanks Eric for all the POLICING!

Now to be reclusive and distanced. Lost.
I came home to durga and her hymns.

PS:- Eric wanted an explosive and a forceful blog. I wanted a soft one with a lot of hidden jabs and pre-suppositions. I win!

Ragam beckons

“Do what kicks you.”, said Ananth Padmanabhan on one of his routine visits to my place.

I looked back at college life and I found, that, it's pretty much what I have done over the past two years and a half. I have been a small part of big things and thats the way I like it. I haven't run things, but I have been part of running things.

And its always small things that kick me!

Despite my effort to repeat for JEE I gave my part in first year. Despite the extenuating circumstances of my household I gave my part in the past three sems too. This sem ain't no different. Tomorrow I pack for Calicut. RAGAM. It might mark the fag end of what I do for the college! I have no idea what is in store. Let me take it as it comes.

But this Ragam is different. I go with a queer set of people. People whom I have looked upto before!

More on that later, maybe.

Last year was quite fun and interesting despite Silk Route :-) .......

I was able to pay back a small installment of a loan yesterday, Thanks to Eric. It is a kind of a loan that will never be repaid fully. But I will keep trying! Keep trying, I will!

They dun hav a smiley for this!

ORIGINAL CHATLOG

(10:55:57 IST) elf: yeah got
(10:55:59 IST) elf: 1 sec
(10:56:16 IST) themargi: mann me gotta bail fast tellme ur first reaction !
(10:56:25 IST) themargi: abt the reduced no: of fukin steps
(10:57:01 IST) elf: k
(10:58:09 IST) elf: shit Firefox can't establish a connection to the server at us.f513.mail.yahoo.com.
(10:58:17 IST) themargi: _|_
(10:58:23 IST) themargi: like i always say
(10:58:30 IST) themargi: they dun hav a smiley for this